Looking back, I believe my vocation story began in the sixth grade. At that time, I was attending a small Catholic school and had the privilege of being a student of the best religion teacher a child could have, Mrs. Juanita Goodson. Mrs. Goodson, who almost became a nun herself, had a way of helping my young, twelve-year-old mind understand and apply the Faith in a way that no other person had ever done. I still remember her stories and the way she made the Bible come alive. Her stories were so effective that by the end of each class, all of us were mesmerized and one could hear a pin drop in the classroom. It was through the influence of this special teacher that I began to take my faith seriously and understand how to apply the Gospel to my life. Needless to say, I have never forgotten Mrs. Goodson. I still carry her lessons deep within my heart and her example of holiness awakened my faith . . . a faith that has sustained me and has now prompted me to give my life to God.

Before I get too far off track with that story, let me tell you about myself. I was born in Tampa, Florida, on February 29, making me a leap-year baby. I have one sibling, my brother Peter, who is 14. I grew up in the city where I still live now, New Port Richey, which is about thirty miles north of Tampa. As I mentioned earlier, I attended a small Catholic school and I also sang in my church's choir for eleven years. During these years, my father served as an usher for the parish, and my mother was heavily involved with my school, whether that meant serving as a school's treasurer or volunteering as a homeroom mom, so early on, I had an example of what it meant to give of oneself in service to the church.

When the time came for high school, my parents enrolled me in a public school since the local Catholic high schools were too expensive. Although making the switch from a Catholic to a public school was a culture shock, my faith grounded me, as it always has.

During my senior year, I received both academic and athletic scholarships to the University of Tampa, a small private college. Having the opportunity to attend an expensive private school was beyond my wildest dreams since I was not from a wealthy home, so I thought I would be enrolling in the local community college. The University of Tampa was everything I had always wished for in a college and I was so grateful to be blessed with this opportunity.

However, when I began my freshman year in the fall of 2002, my life began to unravel. I began to have serious doubts about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Since I was in elementary school, I had always wanted to become a TV journalist for one of the big news stations in Tampa, but I found my priorities in life were changing. I had always dreamed of having a big, important career and doing things my way as a single, independent working woman making her way on her own terms in Tampa, but my big ideas about life were changing. I began to want more out of life than worldly success. It was God that I wanted, but it took me a while to realize this.

Unfortunately, all these changes and the confusion negatively affected my grades. It is amazing that I made it as far as I did in college since I lost my motivation to study or do any kind of schoolwork. I knew my life had a purpose because God has a plan for everyone, but I just didn't know what it was anymore, and this drove me insane! My parents were so angry and upset with me because I was performing so poorly. They thought I was either being rebellious, or there was something wrong with me . . . truthfully, I thought the same thing.

However, during all this failure and confusion, I never gave up on God. My relationship with God actually grew closer and stronger, and I began to be very interested in the things of God, whether it was increased time in prayer, attending Mass more often, watching Catholic TV programs on EWTN, reading about Christ and His Church, or quietly sitting and pondering Him. I gradually began to realize that I desired to please God and live my life solely for Him alone.

How I was going to accomplish this, I did not know yet, but I knew I wanted my life to revolve around God. In fact, now that I look at it, I can see the hand of God in all my struggles. I think God allowed these things to happen for a reason . . . perhaps to help me learn more about myself, especially the areas I need to work on so I can become a holier person. I think our Lord was also trying to teach me to get my priorities straight and realize that nothing . . . not fancy degrees or big careers . . . would fulfill my heart's deepest desires. Only He can do that.

During these years, I began doing Internet searches for careers involving the Catholic faith, since I thought that perhaps I just needed to change career paths and work for Christ and His Church as some sort of employee, and this would make me happy and fill the emptiness I felt inside, but no career choice seemed to satisfy me as much as the thought of becoming a sister. For a long time, I brushed off these thoughts and continued to look for the perfect career as a lay person in the Church, but the thoughts of religious life kept coming back. These thoughts just wouldn't go away. When I was on the Internet, I found myself visiting vocation websites as well as the websites of convents and monasteries and I felt that I was home and at peace whenever I was on these sites.

One day after pushing myself through another day of classes, I finally decided to take a chance and pursue the possibility that I had a religious vocation. As soon as I came home, I filled out a profile on the Vision Vocation Guide website, which was then sent to all orthodox religious orders where Vision thought I would be most compatible. One of the first letters I received in return was from one of Mother Angelica's convents. Overjoyed, I wrote back, hoping for a chance to be part of a holy order like Mother's. However, a few weeks later, I received a rejection letter because of my student loan debt. Needless to say, I was very disappointed, since my debt was (and still is) large and it would take years to pay off that kind of money. I blamed myself for this, since I was the one who decided on a more expensive private college where I had to take out more loans to cover what the scholarships and grants did not. Now I thought I would never be able to pursue a religious vocation.

This is when my grandmother stepped in with a generous offer to pay my loan debt. Seeing how saddened I was and being such a strong and enthusiastic supporter of my vocation, Grandma offered to take on my debt so I would be free to go after religious life without any trouble. I refused several times, not wanting to take money from an elderly grandma, but she firmly insisted nonetheless. A short time later, I heard from the Passionists. They had received my profile and wanted to hear from me as soon as possible so a visit to the convent could be scheduled. What a joy it was to hear this! I felt like my hope had been restored! After I wrote back to the nuns, they sent me an application. I filled it out and was accepted for a week-long visit. I booked my flight to St. Louis and finally met the nuns on July 15, after months of letter writing. As soon as I entered the monastery, I knew this was where God wanted me to be, and it seemed that the sisters knew this as well. In fact, I think they knew even before I came for a visit, judging by the beautiful comments made in some of their letters to me. After several meetings with Mother Superior and Mother Vicar, and some very intense prayer, I asked to be accepted as a postulant on the fourth day of my visit. I was very warmly and enthusiastically welcomed into the order.

I was set to return as a postulant sometime in August, but I had to postpone my entry because my grandmother was no longer able to help with my loans, so that led me to where I am now. The nuns have all been so patient and understanding of my situation as they very eagerly await my return. I feel so blessed to be joining a community filled with such kind and generous women. After years of confusion in college, I feel like I have discovered God's plan for my life, and it is more marvelous than anything I ever dreamed of.

What an honor it will be to follow in the footsteps of some of the greatest women saints in the Church. I long for the day when I will give my very self to Jesus like so many holy women before me, all for the glory of God and the good of souls, as Mother Teresa used to say. What a beautiful vocation for an unworthy soul like mine, a soul strengthened and sustained for so long by the simple faith kindled by a dear teacher so long ago.

I'd like to take a moment to share the religious name I have chosen with the approval of Mother Superior. I will take this name when I become a novice. It is a bit early for me to have a name picked, but this name has a very special significance.

My name will be:

Sister Mary Gemma of St. Dymphna and Our Lady of America.

I chose Mary because she is the Mother of God and also this is my grandmother's name.

Gemma will become part of my name because I made a special promise to St. Gemma Galgani before I visited the nuns. Just before the trip, I read about Gemma's failed attempts to become a Passionist nun. I felt so sorry that her longings were never realized that I told Gemma in my prayers that I would take her name as mine if her intercession helped me become a Passionist. This would be my way of thanking her and honoring her holy life. I would carry on her beautiful name in the order she so longed to join. I hope my life as a nun will make her proud as I bear her name.

I chose St. Dymphna as part of my religious title because I have a great devotion to this marvelous young Irish patroness of all things concerning the mind and mental health. She has been a great friend to me during time of stress, worry and uncertainty. Her courageous martyrdom for the Faith reminds me that I am called to stand up for Truth, even when it may cost me dearly.

Finally, I will be taking Our Lady of America, the holy and Immaculate Virgin, as part of my title, since she is the patroness of the United States. I think my beloved nation is in serious need of the intercession of our Blessed Mother, as so many people here suffer from such severe spiritual poverty. I hope the gift of my life to Jesus as a Passionist nun will help save many souls dying from this poverty.